Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The day before the first chemo

I have been jittery and weird all day.  I can't believe the countdown to starting chemo is almost over.  Tomorrow I'll be in a chair, surrounded by sick people, getting chemo dumped into my port.  I still struggle with the idea that I have cancer, that I'm one of those sick people now.  I don't feel sick, I feel fine.  Why do I have to do this?  There is a huge disconnect somewhere in my brain.  Everything is so surreal right now.  Tonight I will meet Danny for one last yummy meal together, drive home, do some laundry, and pack a bag for treatment tomorrow.  I have this nervous energy that is making me over-analyze every detail (kind of like I'm going on a strangely awful blind date)  I want to wear sandals, but what if my feet get cold?  Should I bring socks?  And I should wear a v-neck so they can get to my port easily, but my favorite one is dirty so I guess I need to clean it tonight.  Should I wear a hat or would that look weird?  I guess not since it is a cancer ward.  What if people want to talk to me?  What if I cry?  What if I get sick?  I guess I'll know soon.

Yesterday I got an amazing surprise in the mail - my MIL made me quilt.  It's perfect.  It's got bright yellow and soft gray blocks and a super cozy lemon backing.  All over it she embroidered verses of encouragement, which must have taken forever.  I'm so thankful to have something soft, warm, and distinctly mine to take into chemo tomorrow and wrap up in.  And then today I got a new friend in the mail - Neebo!!  There is a long story behind my mom making me Neebo and it starts with his friend Fernihurst, whom Danny and I met on our wedding weekend.  Neebo is a timid little guy that signed up to brave chemo with me.  He's awesome and I'm so thankful he got here on time.  My mom is becming a professional muppeteer!  I'll also be decked out in my blue and white striped scarf so I'll be matchy-matchy with one of my favorite people Beth.  I may be sitting through chemo, but at least I'll be surrounded by love.  Here are the kitties with my chemo "suit of armor":

Amos

Charlie

See, Neebo is already making friends!  Well, I have no idea how tomorrow will go so please pray for us.  I will update you when I have the strength.  

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6 comments:

  1. Linda YMay 29, 2012 at 6:25 PM

    Dear Beautiful Naomi, We continue to surround you with love and prayer. Thankful that Neebo, the scarf and the quilt are all in place for you tomorrow. Couldn't help but notice that Neebo and the quilt ended up being yellow and gray... how cool is that! :)
    When I read about you walking five miles a day during your recent vacation with Danny, I was in awe of how far you've come in such a short time. I am reminded how much God loves you.... as shown in one of your verses, Naomi:

    Jeremiah 31:34
    I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. I WILL BUILD YOU UP AGAIN.

    You are loved dear daughterinlaw.

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  2. tKwMay 29, 2012 at 7:06 PM

    Naomi, I have been so blessed by our friendship and I wanted you to know that all our thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow and throughout this next week as you learn to manage the effects of the chemo on your body. Jack and I so wish we could be around this week just in case you need anything but we will be thinking of you on our trip and praying things go as smoothly as humanly possible. We love you and are so happy to be your friends. I pray that you will be filled with strength tomorrow and that you will have constant reminders of all the people who love and support you and are lifting you up in prayer.

    All our love,
    J&T

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  3. RocTrikeMay 29, 2012 at 7:14 PM

    Hi Naomi,

    The following is a Jewish blessing for healing. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    May the One who was a source of blessing for our ancestors, bring blessings of healing upon Naomi, a healing of body and a healing of spirit. May those in whose care they are entrusted be gifted with wisdom and skill, and those who surround them be gifted with love and trust, openness and support in their care. And may they be healed along with all those who are in need. Blessed are You, Source of healing.

    Barb(Seweryniak)

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  4. Laura BeckMay 29, 2012 at 9:04 PM

    I'm holding you close in my heart, sister. hugging you in my mind.
    I will be thinking about you all day tomorrow.
    please call us when you feel up for it and let us know how you are feeling.
    We love you so much.

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  5. MamesMay 30, 2012 at 4:02 AM

    This "blind date" is going to make you well...so even if it isn't a match made in heaven, at least try to be friends for a while before you break up with him. (Then you can place a complaint with Match.com for setting you up with an obnoxious bully) Love your scarf, your, gorgeous quilt, and brave little Neebo. Most of all, I love you!!

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  6. Renee G.June 1, 2012 at 6:47 PM

    Those are the most amazing gifts ever!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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